Tamera Currington
I know I’ve been totally silent the past few weeks. Life has not stopped gut punching me yet. My daughter suffered 2 strokes last night, it’s just one month shy of a year from the last two. I’m trying my best to be there for her , while caring for her two toddlers while now simultaneously trying to find permanent stable housing. I can’t sleep, every time I fall into slumber, something jostled me out of it. Just had a pretty bad panic attack and I’m sure more are to follow. Can’t get the image of her stroking out, out of my head. I’m mentally and emotionally spent. Not sure how much more I can take. Tired of people and their, “hold on, everything happens for a reason “ “be strong you got this” “just cast your cares on Jesus” bullshit. I just want to scream, I don’t want to consider that it could be worse, I don’t want to compare my shit to someone else because at least I’ve got one leg up. I don’t want to sit in misery but right now, in this moment, I just want to scream out into the universe how fucking tired I am of all of this shit. I want to read my life out to the universe like punishable charges, I want to scream why and receive an answer . But none of that will happen, so I’ll have to be grateful for this space where I didn’t have to worry about being grammatically correct and I can simply say, “Fuck this shit!”
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