“No Miracle will help him!”, that’s what the doctor told me after informing me that my son had a Grade 4 IVH bleed on the brain. A Grade 4 IVH is basically a bleed on the brain in all 4 of your ventricles. When she told me this the nurse noticed I was slowly balling my first up and very close to punching that doctors lights out.
How did my son come to this issue? Well he and his twin was born at 23 weeks and 6 days gestation. I was a day shy of being 6 months pregnant. He and his sister spent many days in the NICU. Michelle spent 3 months and came home on a tenth of a liter of oxygen. That’s literally almost none. Micah came home after 8 months. He had oxygen, apnea monitor, Trachea, suction machine, and 18 hours of nursing.
My water broke while I was on bed-rest and I rushed to the hospital. There was no stopping the birthing process because once the water breaks it’s imperative that you deliver or you risk causing infection. All risks were explained and I went into the OR for my c-section. I was afraid and had never been cut on before so I cried the whole time.
When they delivered them I was shown each one as they came out. So tiny I could hold them in the palm of my hand. Michelle was 1 pound 6 ounces and Micah was 1 pound 7 ounces. Not a single day went by that I didn’t go to the hospital. I made sure I was there to give baths, hold them, talk to them, hold their tiny hands. I didn’t miss a single moment. Mother’s day 2008 Michelle pooped in my hands while Micah held my hands and showed me he knew who mommy was and I melted.
To hear a doctor tell me to pull the plug on my son was one of the most awful things I had ever heard someone say. I watched many parents around me pull plugs. Babies leaving this world at the hands of doctors. I told them that if my son was going to die he was going to die while on that machine! If God intended for him to leave my life his heart would stop. So as long as his little heart beat as strong as it did I was NOT pulling any kind of plug.
Now here we are 10 years later and my M&M’s are here and healthy! Micah does have Cerebral Palsy, functions less than a year old, and is wheelchair bound. He’s very intelligent though! He knows his name, colors, and can associate words you say with pictures. He will tell you NO and gone girl! Oh and he loves to say GO! Riding the school bus is the highlight of his day so imagine when it’s Tuesday and he goes to speech therapy. He’s got the mean mug on at me.
Michelle is so smart! She can speak Spanish, do sign language, and loves pizza. She can read anything you give her so trust me when I say spelling things around her is out of the question. Her favorite things to do are watching TV, playing games on the computer and watching YouTube. She hates to be told No and she can’t deal with loud sounds or other kids crying. It’s her triggers. After years of trying to get her completely potty trained it’s like a light bulb switched on and BOOM she pooped in the toilet! Do you know how long it’s taken to get a single piece of poop in there?! LOL I know it’s a bit graphic but this is the world of a parent with a disabled child. Poop excites us LOL.
My kids are my world and as they were growing in my womb I knew that God had not only sent me my lifesavers but also my angels here on earth. Pulling plugs was never going to happen.
I say to anyone who is faced with a decision of choosing to pull ANY plug. I say choose life. Keep that plug in and LIVE! Don’t allow others to make you feel that something you are so adamant about or something you love so much is dead or a dead situation. Fight for it and keep it plugged it!
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