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WIHGYUTDFYUGKH

  • The title is how the past 24hrs have been for me. I shared in #DailyReview that I found out that my mentor helped to cover the tracks  of a two sexual predators, ephebophiles to be exact. It was devastating to me. He taught me so much and truly invested in the Woman of God I became. Instilled in me a drive for justice and equality that I can honestly say wouldn't have been there without him. I spent every Saturday with him for YEARS. When the allegations across the world were brought to the light I was even question about our relationship and I guess now I understand why. But to be absolutely clear he was NEVER inappropriate with me or any of the other youth. In the 70s he helped two escape justice. I get no one is perfect, but that's just horrible. Then I was reminded that he again overlooked the acts of an ephebophile when I was in high school and so did I. Yeah last night was a doozy. But this morning I got some beautiful advice from my dear friend @SaraSharifi. I was judging myself pretty hard. But I can't evaluate the actions of 16yr old me versus the mental maturity of 33yr old me... That's not fair to me. So she helped me traverse that slippery slope. For me to end up dealing with my Aunt who has openly shared that she is jealous of me (for what I have no idea), attempt to dismantle my character and integrity in a way that, 2 months ago I would've probably broken her jaw. But I didn't. I held my peace. Again. She tried it yesterday too. It's as if she's purposely trying to provoke me. She even became angry that I wouldn't allow her to do so. I was again proud of myself. It didn't even trigger a migraine. I just let it go.

     

    There are so many great things on the horizon for me. I can't allow myself to get caught up within the small stuff. And I refuse to give anyone power over me but God Himself. And that's what I finally realize now. Allowing myself to lose control is giving someone else power over me. #BeautifulGrowth

     

    Heck... I was even able to keep this sweet and short.

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